Welcome to the third and most prestigious tier of our exclusive membership program. You don’t just love Chainsaw, you ARE Chainsaw. To qualify for consideration,
- Your blood must be six parts Chainsaw Lager, and four parts Pabst Blue Ribbon.
- Regardless of where you are or what you’re doing, there’s a pretzel bun slowly digesting in your stomach.
- You never worry about stepping on gum, because your shoes are always sticky.
- You have zen-like control over your cast iron bladder after years of waiting in line for our bathrooms.
- You don’t listen to a song unless you know we’ve got it for karaoke. What would be the point?
- You have, at least, a vague sense of irony.